Divine Feminine
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Two truths one lie- have fun reading three events and trying to figure out which outrageous event is a lie.
qoute sandwhich- read abouthow the the conflict between father sahagun and his daughter affects the family.
tough stuff essay- get ready for an emotional roller coaster reading my personal essay dealing with family conflict and experience i had having a father.
L.S.D essay- Ever wondered the origin of lsd? where it came from and what derived from? here youll find about all you need to know about lsd.
Bycicle Day- What is bycicle day?do you ever wonder what the correct amout of lsd is appropriate ? find out here.
Book recommendation- out of the many books ive ever red thi is one i truly reccomend.
Two Truths One Lie
1.) I started wrestling my junior year, i was a competitive person and loved the sport along with everything it had to offer. After my first year of wreslting at, Coachella Valley High School, i decided to help out my team and volunteer at a firework stand. I would leave the spot after 8-12 hours of volunteering and was tired by the time i sat in the driver's seat of my car. One tiresome night i shifted the gears to "Reverse" and i glared at the letter R before looking at my rear view mirror. I stepped on the gas like i was stomping on the biggest cockroach I've ever seen, before i knew it BOOM!I hit the Head Coach"s car, I must've gone atleast 30 mph on Reverse. The automobile had "Frame Damage" otherwise known as nearly unrepairable. By the time my senior year came around, I managed to work my whole summer and save three thousand dollars to pay for the damage. My coach refused to coach me for my last year of wreslting.
2.)After the seperation with my Mother, my so called "father" decided to have his crook friends kidnap me. It took me a whole minute to realize the person carrying me wasn't my cousin. Until we got incredibly close to the old beat up car, I then realized i was getting kidnapped. My elementary had many supervisors, so in a sudden stunt, i decided to scream "Stranger Danger!!! I'm getting stolen!". I made everything possible to make my attacker struggle, all my effort paid off because one of the supervisors snatched me out of the man's hands. She was like "SIKE" and threw me in the main office until my Mother came to pick me up. After that i wasnt alowed off campus when everyone was let out.
3.) My mother thought it was funny to push me off a flight of stairs one day, it resulted in me having a terrible back injury. I was casually about to take my first step when i felt a sudden push and all I can remember thinking to myself is "I don't think im going to land on my feet this time." In a blink of an eye i hit the corner of the stairs harder than a fat boy belly flopping. But with my spine... On the corner of the stairs... The injury made me quit the soccer team and caused me to be in a wheelchair for 6 months on end. To this day when I run my back hurts from that incident and my Mother laughs about it still.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
The Sahagun Family had more of a sexist, old school mindset
where the father was the kind of his home, and whatever he said everyone had to
follow. Because of this many of his daughters couldn’t have a boyfriend or even
male close friends for that matter. The oldest was Carolina who was 23 and was
still expected to follow her dad’s orders. When Carolina brought home her man
(Tom), papa Sahagun was enraged, unable to speak properly but scream at his
oldest daughter, whom was warned by her mother not to bring her man near her
father. Tom was at the door way which left Mr. Sahagun no other option than to
let his pride take over and question his oldest daughters authority, “Dating?
Who gave you permission to date? Was it your mother?”. As a quick panic move
the leader of the Sahagun pack now questioned his dear queen, which shows how
he’ll be quick to take down anyone in his path going against his order.
Nevertheless Carolina stands her ground and asks if Tom was asked to leave she
would too, which unveiled anger causing him to scream at her out get out. As
the family was praying for Chuy, Tom reappeared and asks to join them which MR.
Sahagun accepted, Carolina did it she got her acceptance and the “women’s
liberation movement “ was a success.
One
Month in Hell
My father slowly started to change
due to the drugs, he wasn’t much of a loving man anymore. Every morning was
routine, the smell of roasted coffee beans and handmade tortillas would wake me
out of slumber. I grew attached to the sounds of my mother and father speaking
to each other in the kitchen. Every morning I found them smiling and laughing
at each other across the counter while enjoying the sweet and bitter taste of
coffee. I was so used to the voices and whispering that I felt lost when it
stopped. I started to stray far from school, I wasn’t longer their or so it
seemed. I was day dreaming, wondering if home was really the place I wanted to
be. I was slowly isolating myself.
The abuse didn’t stop: some would
call my father a prideful man, others called him a family man, and I’d call
that man the devil himself. My parent’s arguments got worst and the only thing
I can set my mind to do was to distract my sister from it all. My father was a
manipulative man, sweet talked everyone in our family to try and turn us
against my Mother. Tried to make us fear him and it worked, he'd walk in the
house and I thought I was going to die, at least I wished I was going to. My
mother suggested we stay and that this was just a marriage phase, so we tried
to wait it out. I remember waking up to a big THUD! When I ran to see what it
was the smell of coins hit me, there was a dent in the dry wall and my mother
was on the floor next to it. My father reeked of alcohol and drugs, when I
tried to run towards my mother who had a gash in her face then he grabbed me.
My father held me in the air, the grip getting tighter and tighter. He then
said "don’t go near that bitch" I proceeded to slap him as hard as I
could. In that second I remember him clearly letting go of me as he held me in
front of him and before I made contact with the floor he kicked my face, I woke
up in the hospital. My father’s ideal form of making it up to me was showing me
how to operate a gun, which made me fear him even more. A man whose intentions
where to harm his family shouldn’t have a gun. That was a turning point for me,
I didn’t want a father anymore. Anything he had to offer I can so myself, any
promises I can fulfil myself I no longer wanted to be a part of this family.
Upon telling my mother tears burst out of her and the decision was made, we'd
leave and try working life out without my father.
Every night got worse for my
mother, and I struggled to understand how bad it really was for her. My parents
were now distant and my father kept us locked in our house. Paranoid and afraid
we'd leave, the coward would beat my mother and me senseless and lock us in
rooms. I remember when I woke up by the aroma of blood, and I realized I was in
a puddle of it and the reason it was so strong was because I had been lying in
it for so long. I had a hard time remembering where I was, but soon realized I
was in a storage room off the side of the house and the lights were off. I lost
my voice and broke my nails screaming and scratching the door until I started
to punch and kick it down. In the process the hard wood broke three of my
knuckles and splintered my feet. I managed to get out only to find the house
locked with my mom in the same attempts to get out. I wanted to get out of
school and run home to check up on my mother and sister, I'd cry when the bus
would get to school late. I wanted to be home at all times for my mother’s
safety not my own. I’d show interest now on how to operate this tiny gun. When
my father wasn’t beating me into a concussion he’d showed me how to use his
gun. He’d grow angry if I wouldn’t use stray dogs as target practice. I always
dread what I've been through, but god knows I wouldn't want anyone to go
through what my mother has. I don't really understand how someone has the will
and mentality to stay sane after all that she was being put through.
The beatings got worst, which I
decided to take a stand for, I needed to stop hiding all that was bothering me.
After a heated argument my mother tried calling the cops on my father, which he
ended up inviting over to eat the next day because it was my father’s friend. I
then knew it was up to me to figure something out, I mostly hated getting
beaten and it got more sinister. I was allowed to choose what to get best with
every night, and as I picked one item that was less painful. It was then
swapped out for something horrible the next night. I grew timid, I no longer
wanted to talk in school, or wear anything besides pants and sweaters at 100+
degrees. I was tired of what was going on and no matter what I went through my
mother had it worse I couldn't even begin to imagine. One night I decided to
choose the most painful object, in which case was a two-by-four that had two
staples and one nail broken off by rust. In the middle of school the next day,
I got up in the middle of class and took off my sweater and shirt. Child care
services were involved and a case was made which took my father and mother
under investigation. The commotion gave me time to find where my father hid his
gun, and let me hide it from him. “Nothing will make you feel more invincible
than the feeling of a gun in your hands” I remembered my dad say to me a week
before. I did love my father, regardless of anything. I knew what I did was out
of love for my mother, I wanted it all to stop. I didn’t want to see my mom
hurting again.
My father was prosecuted for
domestic violence, followed up with a drug abuse charge. That didn’t stop the
abuse at home, he was let out on bail, and we had to get away. Both my mother
and I were panicked, I knew we had to move out as soon as possible. My father
had been using methamphetamine, which drove him delusional. It had been weeks
of terror every night, I’ve never feared for my life like I did those nights. I
remember hearing what I thought was a car hitting our house and through a wall.
When I came to the living room the front door was wide open and I saw my mother
fighting for her life. As I shouted and screamed for everything to stop, my
father stopped beating on my mom and headed towards me. My heart raced, my body
ached, my blood flew rapidly, I wasn’t taking this anymore I was going to hurt
this man even if it meant killing him. That wasn’t my father anymore that was a
stranger, an intruder. He pummeled me into the ground and laid his hardest hits
on my chest, the closest thing I could grab was what I let on him. I ended up
dropping a lamp on my father and my mother pushed him off of me. I got up and
ran as fast as I could and headed to my room, I reached for a brown “Air-walk”
shoe box and there it was. The solution to my problem was lying before my eyes,
I cupped it in my hands and removed the safety. I walked in my living room
watching my dad dragging my mom out the kitchen, I wasn’t afraid anymore. “Put
that down!” no longer was I afraid, I now felt invincible, and at the end of
the barrel I had my father pleading for his life. I faced my fear, I now had
the power to end all the trauma, the only thing holding me back was the
disappointing look in my mother’s eyes. I felt empowered, I shook from the
frustration and urge to pull the trigger. Instead I decided to call the police,
and held my father at gunpoint until the officers got there.
Some believe in urban legends,
where people are convinced the devil can disburse himself in different ways, I
never thought he’d be 5’6 and id call him my father. We weren’t much of a
family anymore, the experience drove us mad. I’d lost my father to the same
drugs that made him dead to me. I felt relieved, that I wouldn’t have to see
him again and I wouldn’t have to be near him anymore. Those same nights of
torment will affect both my mother and sister more than I can imagine. Even
though I do look back and I have the rest of my life to daydream how it
could’ve gotten different. Here I stand on my way to a new location unknown to
my father, here I stand as a 5 year old, ready to grow up and mature to not
rely on anyone for happiness anymore.
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Jose Alberto Chavarin
Mr. Lewenstein
October 19, 2017
English 061
Psychedelic Sixties
Evil is like a cancer, it’s
not about watching others suffer. It’s about causing the suffering. It’s about
not caring about other’s wellbeing and it tends to feed off of bad vibes. Evil
is about getting what you want and send everything and everyone to hell if it
doesn’t go your way. The intentions of the government finding a way to
manipulate a town was evil, they deemed the drug bad and useless for not
filling their expectations. It altered people’s feelings with huge amounts of
LSD given to them without knowing. MK-Ultra is a proven event where the
government cared not for the safety of people in this town and proceeded with
test that left many sick and delusional. Mind control wasn’t achieved so the
drug was banned, self-interest and no sympathy is evil. Although LSD created a
great high for people, it also destroyed their lives.
Timothy Leary was a
Harvard professor who had a tough break through after losing his wife. In a
short vacation period to New Mexico he tried LSD for the first time. His exact
words were “it’s a life shattering
experience”, Leary became a spokesperson for LSD and believed it enhanced the
ability to think. As well as enhanced the ability to resolve problems in ways
that are not merely visible to the regular human being. This became the peak of
his spokesman’s career he proceeded to support the idea of new ways to think
and enhance the human brain. Paired with the Psychedelic Pioneers he made a major
impact on America’s youth and began on his famous quote “tune in turn on and
drop out” which implemented his use of LSD and how he believed the school
system was a failure and one can learn more on their own.
“What are the risks of
LSD?” States the good and bad trips a person can have while also alerting the
audience about the dangers of the drug. The author talks about the addiction it
causes when you have good trips, which leads to more and more doses of the
drug. While others can have the worst trip of their lives and end up mentally
ill for the rest of their lives and permanently paranoid. The author believes
that one should take proper caution while using this drug, because constant use
can result in deadly consequences. LSD can have some fatal consequences if one isn’t
careful with the dosages taken. Whenever I see a person that is a constant user
it saddens me how gone they are. Those who don’t keep their guard up will be
befriended by the drug and there’s no turning back from that. One should be really
careful especially when dealing with hallucinogenic drugs. An improper dosage
can even result in addiction. “Bad trips, can even last
up to twelve hours”. This
tells me how the author wants to let the readers know how important it is to be
careful when trying LSD and how it can potentially affect.
In 1930-1960 LSD was a
common pain reliever. Of course one had to consume the right amount and have to
put themselves through proper and adequate instructional time from doctors to
know how to use it effectively. There has been only addiction links between LSD
and its users if it is mixed with other drugs, the hallucinogen can in fact
treat severe pain with proper dosage. Using more than the recommended dosage
can affect the brain waves and afflict to more serious complications. One being
paranoia and another including the need/feel to always be on the drug. Doctors
have emphasized on why one shouldn’t use LSD unless you are supervised and have
a professional, in the medical field, next to you. As strange as it is the drug
can lead to triggers in the body that make you addicted to it, and can result
in horrible events. The amount of micrograms for a good trip is 150, after
addiction it is easy to fall in a fine line between a proper dosage and a
deadly one. Which often leads to death, without proper observation and no
safety precaution taken, once addicted to the drug it’s hard to stop taking
greater dosages than the previous before. This illegal drug, although deadly,
has many benefits to it and is manageable enough to prevent it from being a
reaper drug. In 1853 a devastating discovery was made, morphing and heroin were
discovered and so were opioids. This is a drug found in your common pain
killers it is a moderate morphine like substance that helps stimulate the body
and relieve pain. It can be prescribed by a doctor and can be obtained at a
pharmacy, but just like it’s siblings it can result in serious addiction.
Opioids have been a result of severe addiction, victims get addicted to the
soothing pain relief. In many occasions this step reached overdose, which is
common for those who are addicted to Opioids. Both drugs can have deadly
consequences and are both very much alike, though one is legal and one is not.
What caught my interest
for this topic was the fact that LSD was made illegal when at one point it had
the people unified and moving together. What many don’t realize is that the
experience shared when doing this drug was truly a bond at the time where
people wanted to know how you felt and why. Conducting research and trying to
find out what LSD’s full potential was the goal to all of its use. It’s a type
of drug that allows you to get better understanding of the world revolving
around you. At first I wasn’t so convinced about the whole “Psychedelic Sixties” November but after a
short amount of research and background checks I realized I was in the wrong
and I could possibly be convinced that the drug can have a positive outcome.
Upon gathering all the data I had received I noticed how LSD traces can be
found amongst the smartest people in the world some even go as big as Steve
Jobs and Bill Gates. I believe my position and stance on this drug has changed,
no longer would I find it wrong to use a hallucinogenic drug which can allow
more understanding and better stimulation than a prescription drug ever will.
This led us to misunderstand the potential effects this drug can have on
expanding our minds. “Allows me to solve problems in ways unimaginable” as
Hoffman says it can alter our universe and let us see things we are blind to
daily.
Works
Cited
“Watch Truth about Drugs
Documentary Video & Learn About Substance Addiction. Get The Facts About
Painkillers, Marijuana, Cocaine, Meth & Other Illegal Drugs.” Foundation
for a Drug-Free World, www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/lsd/what-are-the-risks-of-lsd.html.
Rothstein, Edward. “A Mind-Altering Drug
Altered a Culture as Well.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 May 2008,
www.nytimes.com/2008/05/05/arts/05conn.html.
Bernstein, Adam. “Albert Hofmann, 102; Chemist Discovered LSD.” The Washington Post, WP
Company, 30 Apr. 2008, www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/29/AR2008042902738.html.
Ferranti, Seth. “The Trippy Life of the
LSD Manufacturer Who 'Helped Create the 60s'.” Vice, Vice City Inc., 13 Nov. 2016, www.vice.com/en_us/article/9b8qd5/the-trippy-life-of-the-lsd-manufacturer-who-helped-create-the-60s.
Anderson, Jack. “Lawsuit Forces CIA Confession On MK-Ultra.” Https://Www.cia.gov, 28 Aug. 1985, www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP90-00965R000100150073-8.pdf.
In 1943 Swiss scientist Hoffman
discovered LSD. Cars were not allowed to be used in that era due to
transportation of military equipment in world war 2. After discovering the drug
Hoffman proceeded to try 120 micrograms Of the newly discovered drug for himself.
“Shapes and vibrant figures were everywhere as to be watching the world from a
kaleidoscope” Hoffman’s bike ride home was known as Bicycle Day. The 25 represents the amount of
milligrams (0.25) one should be able to safely ingest, without feeling any type
of anxiety or excess ‘trip’.
Owsley ‘Bear’ Stanley was who they called the best LSD Pioneer, he who
brought love talk about the drug to an all time popularity. Stanley was a
professor at Harvard university before he started to conduct his own research
and expirements with LSD. “Life shattering and unimaginable understanding of the
world” is all he had to say about the drug which brought attention to those
curious. He became known as a spokesperson for LSD and had a renowned name for
his infamous research and constant use of LSD.
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
The title of the book is "A Boy Called 'IT'" by Dave Pelzer.
I first
read this book in late November 2008, I was still attending Palm View
Elemntary. I read this book while living with my aunt Carmela where her
children had hundreds of books, basically a library!
My
cousin Daisy was reading this book one day and she said the boy reminded
her of me. I ended up reading the book out of curiosity which I ended
up loving.
The book itself was about a child abuse case, very
graphic details about it were published in this book. The child's mother
was an alcaholic who also had mental problems which resulted in her
almost killing her baby.
I remember this book for mostly personal reasons.
A
part that is not my favorite but always stuck with me is when the child
woke up one day to find his mom with a pile of cupcakes on the table.
She tells him to grab one, hesitant he reaches over to grab a cupcake.
When the mother stabs his hand with a knife and proceeds to tell him to
grab the cupcake and eat it.
I do recommend this book, all
because it's based on real life events and make you realize a lot of
what happens in child abuse cases. I would recommend it to those who
pursue a career in criminology to have an understanding of what some
cases might carry.
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Two truths one lie- have fun reading three events and trying to figure out which outrageous event is a lie. qoute sandwhich- read ...